Monday, August 27, 2012

Judge less

A noble sentiment. Certainly, we all hope folks will view us kindly and with an open mind.

It's not so easy in practice. We all apply conscious or unconscious filters to people we meet. Supposedly we have made up our minds about each other in 3-10 seconds (depending on your source material): appraised; judged; filed.

I'm not suggesting we change the way the human mind is wired. However, now that we know we judge and are judged in turn, that we make an effort to allow folks to change the initial impressions they may have left that unwitting triggered a "don't go there" filter.

I'm not including the actions and folks who are deliberately setting out to get under my skin, just those who should be allowed a second chance if I have no concrete reason to file them as "outside the circle".

The next time a damp handshake or ill-timed joke cuts a potential conversation short, remember it could just be nerves or a bad day. Relationships are started with a quick judgment but built through long-term, consistent behaviours.

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